Chronic pelvic pain affects millions, yet many suffer in silence because the discomfort feels too personal, too embarrassing, or too difficult to explain. If you've ever hesitated to bring up pelvic symptoms with your doctor even though you know you should, you are not the only one.
As a fellowship-trained specialist in sexual and pelvic health with dual training in both gynecology and urology, Dr. Sonia Bahlani has dedicated her career to creating a safe, judgment-free space where patients can speak openly about their symptoms and finally find relief. In this blog, we'll explore why pelvic pain is so often hidden, how to overcome the barriers to discussing it, and what you can do to advocate for yourself effectively.
Why Pelvic Pain Is Often Suffered in Silence
Pelvic pain can manifest in countless ways, such as painful sex, burning sensations, pressure, urinary discomfort, or chronic aching that disrupts daily life. Despite how common these issues are, many people delay seeking help for months or even years. The reasons typically include:
- Embarrassment about intimate symptoms: Discussing pain during sex, vaginal discomfort, or bladder issues feels vulnerable in a way that other medical concerns don't.
- Fear of not being taken seriously: Too many patients have had their pain dismissed as "normal" or "all in their head," leading to medical mistrust.
- Uncertainty about how to describe symptoms: Pelvic pain is often complex and difficult to articulate, making it hard to know where to start.
- Cultural and social stigma: Topics related to sexual health and pelvic function are still considered taboo in many communities.
According to the National Institutes of Health, chronic pelvic pain affects approximately 15% of women of reproductive age in the United States, yet it remains underdiagnosed and undertreated. Breaking the silence starts with understanding that your symptoms are valid, your pain is real, and you deserve specialized care.
Understanding That Your Pain Is Real And Treatable
One of the most damaging myths about pelvic pain is that it's psychosomatic or exaggerated. The truth is that conditions like vulvodynia, endometriosis, interstitial cystitis, and pelvic floor dysfunction have real, physiological causes. Research published by the International Association for the Study of Pain confirms that chronic pelvic pain involves complex interactions between the nervous system, muscles, and connective tissues.
Preparing for Your Appointment: What to Bring and How to Organize Your Thoughts
Walking into a doctor's office to discuss intimate pain can feel overwhelming, but preparation can help you feel more in control. Here's how to set yourself up for a productive conversation:
- Track your symptoms for at least two weeks before your appointment. Note when pain occurs, what it feels like, how long it lasts, and any triggers you've noticed. Does it happen during certain activities, at specific times in your menstrual cycle, or after eating certain foods? The more details you provide, the easier it is for your doctor to identify patterns.
- Write down your questions in advance. It's easy to forget what you wanted to ask once you're in the exam room.
Consider questions like:
- What could be causing my pain?
- Are there diagnostic tests that might help identify the problem?
- What treatment options are available?
- How long might it take to see improvement?
- Bring a symptom diary or notes on your phone so you don't have to rely on memory. Include information about previous treatments you've tried, medications you're taking, and any family history of pelvic conditions.
- Consider bringing a trusted support person if it helps you feel more comfortable. Sometimes having someone else in the room makes it easier to speak openly.
Red Flags: When Your Doctor Isn't Listening
Unfortunately, not all healthcare providers are equipped to handle pelvic pain appropriately. If you've ever felt dismissed, rushed, or told that your symptoms are "normal," it may be time to seek a second opinion. Warning signs that your concerns aren't being taken seriously include:
- Being told that pain during sex is "just part of being a woman"
- Having your symptoms attributed to stress or anxiety without further investigation
- Being offered only pain medication without exploring underlying causes
- Feeling rushed through appointments with little time for questions
- Receiving vague reassurances like "it should get better on its own"
What Questions Your Doctor Should Be Asking You
A skilled pelvic pain specialist will ask detailed questions to build a comprehensive picture of your condition. During your consultation with Dr. Bahlani, you can expect questions like:
- When did your symptoms first begin?
- Can you describe the quality of the pain? (Sharp, burning, aching, pressure?)
- Does anything make the pain better or worse?
- Do you experience pain with urination, bowel movements, or sexual activity?
- Have you noticed any patterns related to your menstrual cycle?
- What treatments have you tried, and what were the results?
- How is this pain affecting your daily life, relationships, and mental health?
The International Pelvic Pain Society recommends a multidisciplinary approach to pelvic pain assessment that considers physical, emotional, and lifestyle factors.
Building a Partnership With Your Healthcare Provider
Effective treatment for chronic pelvic pain starts by forming a collaborative partnership. You are the expert on your own body, and your doctor brings clinical knowledge and therapeutic tools. Together, you create a treatment plan that respects your goals, values, and quality of life.
Dr. Bahlani believes in empowering patients with information and involving them in every decision. She explains the "why" behind each recommendation, discusses potential outcomes, and adjusts approaches based on your feedback. This model of care, sometimes called shared decision-making, has been shown to improve patient satisfaction and treatment outcomes, according to the National Library of Medicine.
Treatment Options You Should Know About
Many people don't realize how many treatment options exist for pelvic pain. Depending on your diagnosis, solutions might include:
- Physical therapy specializing in pelvic floor rehabilitation
- BOTOX injections for pelvic floor dysfunction and muscle spasm relief
- Trigger point injections to address localized muscle pain
- Lifestyle modifications involving diet, stress management, and exercise
- Medications ranging from nerve pain modulators to hormonal treatments
- Minimally invasive procedures like cystoscopy for diagnostic clarity
You Don't Have to Navigate This Alone
If you've been living with chronic pelvic pain and struggling to find the words to discuss it, know that Dr. Sonia Bahlani at Pelvic Pain Doc specializes in exactly these conversations. As one of the few physicians fellowship-trained in sexual and pelvic health, with expertise in both gynecology and urology, she brings a rare depth of knowledge to complex pelvic conditions.
Schedule a consultation with Dr. Bahlani today and take the first step toward improving your pelvic pain.
